Women Leaders: Meeting of Minds and Hearts

Muraho! 
This is Christina.  Today I met with 20 women leaders from the Zeraphath church in Kigali, along with our translator, Barbi and Madame Bishop Miriam (Theophile's wife; aka Mama Pastor).   It was raining so we met in the living room of our house which proved to be much more conducive to intimate and free-flowing discussion.   We began around 9am with a songs and a prayer voiced by a woman who said, "thank you God that we're even alive".  And then for the next 3 hours or so,  we heard captivating testimonies of God's intervention, redemption and miracles in their lives.  Stories where hopelessness led to God providing and revealing Himself, and their response of  obedient faith in the face of unlikely circumstances.  Many of the women were younger, somewhere between 25 to 40, I'd guess.  Of the twenty who attended, they had 65 children among them (at home, not present with us),  two were very pregnant, and one was a widow with 9 children. 

After proper introductions and greetings , I spoke about the heart of an effective leader: one who has a vibrant love-relationship with God and also is confident of the forgiveness we have in Jesus Christ.  I asked the questions:  Do we really believe these truths?  How could these deeply held convictions transform how I serve and lead?  We discussed how God's tender grace toward us can shape our ministry to others.  I encouraged the women to view these truths as the core of our hearts from which ministry must overflow into our families, our church service and into all relationships. 

Then this led to a spirited and very frank discussion of marriage.  We concluded that strong, vibrant marriages are a powerful witness to the saving, redeeming power of God's grace. What if amazing worship music and preaching spilled out the windows and doors of their church, but people knew that the marriages in that church were weak, contentious and fragile?  People would say, "God is not real.   God isn't strong enough to save those marriages".  And then the Message of God would be slandered.  (Titus 2:3-5)  Strong, loving marriages are evidence of God at work in the church.

Miriam then spoke very directly and frankly to the women about personal hygiene; making your husband a meal and dining with him; managing our words toward our husband (not nagging, complaining). Please keep in mind that we cannot fully understand the lives, culture,  and routines of these women.   There are few indoor bathroom facilities, few disposable feminine hygiene products or diapers, and poverty and hunger are pervasive.  Mutuality is not so common in marriage, and shame and misconceptions abound regarding sexuality.  What followed then were more questions about sexual problems in marriage.   Never have I even participated in, much less led, such a candid discussion of sexuality in marriage among Christian women.   And why is this?  Turns out that sexual difficulties and disagreements in marriage occur in every culture.  And if God designed sex in marriage, and He cares so much about marriage, why wouldn't we go to Him with these cares and burdens? 

Finally Miriam said we need to end the meeting and yet the ladies still had some points and questions to make.   Tomorrow we go to meet with the Hermon Church women leaders and Miriam said I should expect more of the same. 

I'm grateful and amazed that the Lord would bring me to this place to share heart to heart with these women.   He is working and blessing these churches, these women, and their marriages!

Lastly, last night I went on a four-hour visit to a friend from last year's visit, our translator Angel.  In the last year, Angel has married and just had a baby a few days ago.   It was an amazing inside view of family life in Rwanda, complete with advice about nursing, how to produce milk, and how baby girls cause more labor pains.  Both grandmothers, an aunt and the daddy were there.  Precious.
Here's the new family: